Step 1: Put on mask of semi-naivete.
Turn on charm, seduction skills and sultry voice.
Note: Mask must be used. Increases the enigmatic appeal.
Step 2: Approach; Self-explanatory.
Expiration Date: To be determined: MM/DD/YYYY
Reason: Boredom, repetition, routine, little self-worth.
For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by the patterns in human behavior. I have been observing and analyzing human interaction since a young age. People, their intentions and their pride.
Through all of my years of observation, I acquired a series of skills.
Skill(s): Reads people well [Note: With a specialty on human intention.]
One of my original observations was the inevitable interconnectivity between us all. This social web undoubtedly requires us to use one another as resources. I came to the conclusion that such behavior was necessary — Colloquially, the phrase “to use someone” has negative connotations such as “taking for granted”, “taking advantage of”. Humanity has a tendency to focus on the negative — When you analytically asses the phrase, you come to find that cooperation is a way of “using” someone without the negative association. You may also collaborate, help, etc. The point is that at the end of the day it is important to make sure that you understand that you are not a single entity, you are not a stand-alone vessel.
The paragraph above used words such as ‘connotation’ and ‘association’ to indicate the intention of an action. That is what I’d like to focus on, intention. As humans we have a wide range of intentions that mostly fall under two categories — Selfish and Selfless reasons [Note: There is a lot of 'grey' area and in-between which will ignore in this post for the sake of simplicity.]
a. Selfish: Mask and approach were used to get to a desired result that only or drastically benefits one of the parties involved. Rather than using direct language and communication, many people like to “beat around the bush” to get what they want. Others, are afraid of hurting individuals and feel that an indirect approach will work best when dealing with such situations. We nurture such behavior during our developing years — We attempt to master the skill of manipulation with eveyone we claim to love — with our parents, our siblings and our friends. As the years go by, it becomes easier and the development of clear, direct and ‘adult’ communication lags [Note: Sometimes it does not develop at all.]Individuals who frequently use this approach often take things for granted. “An assumption is made: X,Y,Z seems secure. It will always be there.” The individual then goes on to create their life based on this list of “guarantees.”
b. Selfless: With selfless approaches there is no need to put a mask on. You are simply there to offer your best, to give, to contribute to something greater than yourself. To donate to the oneness of it all. I like to call this ‘love’ [If you wanted to get technical, you could call it 'Agape' or a form of spiritual love.] Such approach is a rarity. The individual in this case is not concerned with what will not and what will be there. Instead, the focus is on that moment.
I try to steer away from the concept of morality — of ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, because I recognize that we are all different and each individual uses a combination of both approaches when it comes to human intention. I try to be non-judgmental. However, once in a while, intentions become transparent. It becomes evident that person A only wants X of person B and thus person B’s pain body is activated. If you use the selfish approach, please be courteous.
As an observer, I have often encountered the selfish approach multiple times. When it occurs, I usually become aware and observe from afar. I continue through with my original intentions.
You may ask, why not back away if you seea selfish intention?
The asnswer is simple: Curiosity. By not “walking away”, by not acting in an accusatory manner and not attempting to defend my ego, I learn. I learn more about human nature, I further educate myself on human intentions and actions. Through my observations, I have learned that human selfish actions have degrees of severity. I have been fortunate enough to experience t he degrees across the board — And I mean that with the utmost sincerity.
There are some of these instances in which I have had the opportunity to confront the situation by asking a simple ,”Why?” The answers have had a wide variety of topics — and most of the time, at the very core, there is little self-worth, boredom, and being tired of routine. It provides us enterntainment, it feeds the ego.
I have been there myself before. After a series of trial and error attempts, I have come to realize that the best way to avoid a “taking for granted” approach is perspective. What would I do without it?
Fortunately, there are an infinite number of ways to look at any one aspect of a human being. Lucky us! Humans are multi-dimensional.
Note: This post is has egocentric pieces. IT if from my point of view and perspective. That being said, I do believe that honesty and clear communication is the best way for any relationships to flourish — whether is with your parents, friends, supervisor, etc. If you have something to say (whether you think it’s offesnsive or not, it is best to not act in the name of self-preservation and simply to speak. As cliche as it sounds, “The truth shall set you free”.
So all in all, I guess a lot of our answers lie in perspective.